The last 4 months...

Ok , So I guess I need to tell you about the last 4 months since my Hubby deployed. Because any military wife can tell you that once your husband is gone everything that can, will go wrong or break. That Murphy guy can be such an asshole sometimes. No joke.

Here is a list of the calamities that have befallen me during this deployment so far:

Right before he left (6 weeks in fact) I had to have an emergency hysterectomy and bladder surgery. So the weeks leading up to deployment were filled with dr's appointments, no sex and a lot of stress....so we did not even get off on the right foot this year. LOL.

The day I took my Hubby and his friend to deploy I received a hefty speeding ticket on my way home and while I do not usually believe in trying to get out of tickets, I did try that day. To no avail. He was not the least bit sympathetic to the crying woman with 2 kids and a long way to go to get home (I had , had to take him 4 hours across the state to Ft. Benning). He instead hit me with a reckless driving charge and a $250.00 ticket. I later got another notice that GA was charging me an additional $200.00 just to keep my driving privileges. Ugh.

Then my poor house has systematically been falling apart on me....my light fixtures have blown up or just fell completely from the ceiling. My stove handle flew off one night (on a rare occasion that I actually tried to cook a real meal) while I was attempting to get dinner out of the oven. My ceiling sprang a leak, luckily right above my toilet. And my computer hard drive decided to commit hari kari  thus taking away my only real link to the universe and my hubby, and facilitating my crash course in computer repair. Which I successfully managed to do. Oh and just today I awoke to find my air conditioner had blown up. Good times I'm telling you, good times.

And then there are the car issues. Tags that needed to be transferred from VA to GA. Tires that needed to be replaced (and of course the lug key was awol) . I even had to drive for a few weeks with no registration.

Then there are the personal tragedies that always come along when your alone and don't have the luxury of breaking down to deal with them. My Lil' Sister lost a baby and my other Sister nearly lost a husband (who it turns out is really a pretty cool guy) all while I was here in GA 400 miles away. I felt so incredibly hopeless and useless. I was no help to anyone from here. And to top all of this off my Grandaddy is dying of melanoma. I was able to go home after the school year ended and spend a few precious weeks  with my family and I will treasure what time I had with him .

But all in all, this deployment has not destroyed me and I have already learned a lot about myself and what I am capable of. I mean sure there have been panic attacks along the way, but already I feel like a better stronger person than I was before. I have learned that I can put my Big Girl Panties on and take care of it. In fact CID's motto of "Do what needs to be done" has definitely pertained to me these last few months. Because in the end it has to be done and I am  the only one here to do it. I have cried while doing it, but it got done with no collateral damage. Plus I discovered that my Sister and I could have a semi normal relationship and that I even like her. And the apocalypse did not occur, like we always assumed it would if this were to happen. I also learned that you can go home....because in the end, family is all you have. Friends come and go but family is there.....and it helps if you can be friends with your family.

Here is a list of things I have learned since he has been gone:

1. I can replace  a hard drive and rebuild a computer all by myself
2. You can make one box of hamburger helper and freeze half and get 2 meals out of it
3. I can survive and still smile on 2 hours of sleep for 3 days
4. I can be independent
5. I am Super Woman (just kidding, but I tell myself this all the time when things get crappy)
6. A glass of wine , will instantly calm you and make everything your kids do bad just a little more entertaining
7. I can drive 400 miles alone with kids and a cat and not have the urge to go on a homicidal rampage
8. I can cook dinner, help with homework and chat on skype with the hubby all at once
9. Yoga can save lives
10. It's ok to ask for help
11. And it's ok to put the kids to bed and just go nuts. Wether it be that you sit and cry or dance naked in the hall on the way to the shower.

But most of all I have realised this deployment will not kill me....I will Survive (feel free to sing along at the top of your lungs...)