Sooooo.......

  I know that i promised you guys the recital videos , so here they are, finally!!! Thanks again to my friend Windy for making my dream come true :)

this is my class :) i got to dance with a lot of beautiful young ladies and yep i was the only adult

                                          

This was our Mom's dance i am the one to the left in the white dress and blonde wig :)

                                           

This is my awesome boy breakdancing with the Arrive 2 defy crew, he has red shorts, blue shirt and retro knee socks, he was amazing!!!

                                          

This was my beatiful  lil girl's dance she is the very serious elephant in the middle beginning at 3:13

Both of my babies did amazing, i was so proud of them!!!

My summer has been incredible, i finally made it to Fenway Park in Boston to watch the Braves stomp the Red Sox :) that made me happy. And even though we spent a good hour or so huddled under ponchos in the rain near the hotdog stands, i was literally just thrilled to be there and see it, so i totally checked that off of my bucket list.....plus Boston was absolutely incredible, i would love to live there someday, it has the history of Philadelphia and DC and all of the charm of Savannah. Simply amazing, I got to see reenactors dressed in civil war garb, was asked to join a chess game by a lovely older man, saw Paul Revere's grave and met  a patriot having beer with a redcoat....and they were so delightful to talk to. I could go on and on about how much fun i had but don't want to bore anyone....lol

I have also gotte to see the Legwarmers play this summer and it was fabulous to go with my girls and dress up in my 80's finest and dance my ass off.....next we are gonna do the hustle in feathered hair and disco dresses, so bring on the Right on Band.....i am so excited about  all of this. (yes i know i a a lil bit of a dork, but who cares :) 

Now to the main reason i am writing tonight......i am at such a difficult crossroads in my life. And my future seems so wide open and scary and i really can not decide what to do. Next week i will send both of my babies to school, ( just discussing my baby going to kindergarten is a whole other post for later) in a way the freedom excites me....but i really do not know what to do with myself. I am no longer qualified for any sort of job , its been 10 yrs since i have done anything other than odd painting jobs or cleaning.....i had wanted to go to the Paul Mitchell School for hair design, i just loved the campus and the staff, it looked like a completely amazing place to learn......but it would put a lot of financial strain on my family......so now should i look into other hair programs or something different entirely, i just do not know what directon to go because there are just so many options (and autistics like are not good at deciding when the options are endless) plus i just do not have any idea what sort of talents i have anymore.....i guess i need one of those antiquated career placement quizzes, lol. But just thinking about all of this makes my head spin and then i shut down in frustration....i just keep hoping for a sign that will point me in the right way......so please God any sort of sign would help. 

But anyways thank you for listening to the endless stream of thoughts i couldn't turn off tonight....and i hope i entertained you with my (ahem, lovely) dancing, lol.............

I am so Happy!!!

Today my Mom surprised me by flying in just for my recital tomorrow! I have never been surprised like this and now I am just beyond excited for recital! videos and pics to come!

I'm not dead....

Ok, so I have not been feeling especially prolific lately....Sorry.

My Hubby just got back from one of the "Super Fun" army schools....yay us. >.< But it actually wasn't too terrible this go around. But really 2 months doesn't really compare to the year long deployment we just survived. He missed Valentine's day again, he of course made up for it by sending me very pretty flowers and getting me the uber cool Pan am Bag I wanted!

Plus....I have been pretty focused on getting myself straightened out. And Good news, I am now back up to a healthy weight :) and have been eating much better. I am also back in the gym getting my groove on. There really is nothing better than having someone watch the kids while I enjoy some me time :) [getting in shape too is just a bonus]. I won't lie, I am still struggling with my body image , I probably always will. But I am seeing a therapist and try to remind myself that I am perfectly imperfect...LOL. And when all else fails I distract myself with meaningless TV, aka Jersey Shore and Teen Mom. The Guidos and Guidettes are growing on me and oh my I think I love My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding ( I blame this last one on my friend Connie).

And I am one very proud Momma, My Boy just performed in the School Talent show a few weeks ago! He was AMAZING! (I of course knew he would be) He performed a breakdance routine to the Phinneas and Ferb song Squirrels in my pants (because who doesn't like that song, really?). He had the whole room cheering and clapping and for good reasons this time...I guess I really should have seen this coming since his rousing performance during a Vacation Bible school skit when he was 3. He totally managed to upstage the "Blues Brothers".

I am having a lil bit of anxiety over the fact my Baby is growing up so fast, so hard to believe that she will be in kindergarten next year.....and she is my last baby :( . Every time I see her dancing or the fact that she has begun pronouncing words right that just a few months ago she couldn't say. It's a lil scary, so I try to stay in the moment with them both...since pretty soon they will be grown. So I will read the Belly Button book for the millionth and ten time and will sit making paper Origami Yoda and Darth Paper.I will even watch every episode of Phinneas and Ferb with my kids and sing along to every crazy song, over and over until we make ears bleed. I will also make a complete fool of myself in Target if it illicits even one grin out of them much to the dismay of my very conservative Hubby. Just try duck walking through the target store while making fish faces and see what happens....seriously go and try it.

Oh and we took a fabulous little holiday to Great Wolf, which next to Walt Disney World is the greatest place on earth for families. And so much closer and really affordable. It was so nice to get away for a few days after the Hubby got home, with the kids for some much needed fun. Everybody had a blast and I got some major bonding in with my Boy. We spent 3 days chasing after fairies and treasure chests and magic stars and the Goblin King on magical adventures. We gallantly fought and defeated most of our foes until we met the dastardly Red Dragon...we tried over and over again to no avail. The lovely staff at the lodge tried to help as well, only to finally determine that this foe was a cheat, so we moved on to other quests for glory.....but on our last night there we decided to give it one more try just so we could say we did the absolute best we could....and with a lil teamwork he and I defeated the horrid Red Dragon....I could not have been more excited had the Braves won the World Series....you should have seen the people staring at the 2 of jumping up and down and high fiving. But as master card always says ....3 days at Great Wolf $500.00, A wand , crown, belt , princess hat, fairy wings and a compass $75.00....bonding with your Boy and finally defeating the Red Dragon.....PRICELESS!

For the most part my life is Normal....well as normal as it can be when you are me.
So in case you were wondering, I am not dead..........